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"Roshell, Starshine"
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Lady Gaga
In 2008, a striking new voice lit up the pop music scene. Just who is Lady Gaga? In this exciting introduction, young readers will learn about Lady Gaga and her path to success, both as a performer and as a songwriter. Each 24-page book in this series of introductory biographies features controlled text with age-appropriate vocabulary and simple sentence construction. The narrative text, colorful design, and colorful photos will speak to even the most reluctant of readers.
Book
No One Cares About Your Hymen
In centuries past, when daughters were brokered out to husbands like so much cattle, a virgin bride was expected to stain the marital bed sheets with blood from the inaugural straining of her hymen. (Think of it like the tamper-proof seal on a bottle of Tylenol; once it's prodded out of the way, there's no putting it back.) These sheets are a plot point in Shakespeare's Othello, and even Yentl. But the notion dates back to the Bible, which states that if the marital sheets are clean, the bride must be returned to her father's house and stoned to death by the men of her village. Seems fair. The notion that a woman's sexuality is any of her father's business is fostered by rituals like \"purity balls,\" prom-like events held throughout the U.S. at which young Christian girls formally pledge to their fathers to abstain from intercourse until marriage. Though the phrase \"purity balls\" makes me giggle and I pledge to snicker about it with my own dad the next time I see him, it's messed up to put a prepubescent girl on her father's arm dressed up like a woman-so that he can tell her how much he dreads her becoming one.
Newspaper Article
Luke Bryan
\"Luke Bryan wows fans with his voice and music. So how did Luke become a hugely popular country star? Look inside to find out how this incredible talent rose to the top.\"--Back cover.
Book
It's 5 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Vagina Is?
There I was at my keyboard, writing about something sensible and semi-important, when this news popped up on my screen: \"Nearly Half of Young Women in the U.K. Don't Know Where Their Vagina Is.\" And because a headline like that can't be ignored, you'll just have to wait for a sensible, semi-important column another time. But-don't teens learn this stuff in health class? Sure, women's plumbing is more complicated and less conspicuous than men's, and yes, girls supposedly have weaker spatial skills than boys. But one shouldn't need GPS to find one's own front door. Look, 1'U talk openly about this stuff'til I'm blue in the ... womens' bits, but I ought to be able to call it whatever I want and here's why:
Newspaper Article
Carrie Underwood
\"This Grammy-award winning singer, songwriter, and actress got her big break when she won American Idol in 2005. Carrie Underwood went on to become one of country music's biggest stars! In this exciting introduction, young readers will learn about Carrie's early life and her many achievements\"-- Provided by publisher.
Book
Botox, Don't Take My Coercive Creases
So I don't begrudge people who undergo cosmetic procedures to reverse the ruthless tug of time. Who among us hasn't fantasized about having a silicone rack up to here and out to there? Who hasn't stood at a mirror and pulled her flesh up around her hairline, watching in amazement as her skin stretched back to its sublime teenage tautness? Who didn't recently invest in a waist -cinching, \"tummy-taming\" camisole called Suddenly Skinny, which is now her very favorite item of clothing and without which she will never again leave the house? (Wait . . . was that just me?). Frozen flat with Botox, my face would say\"relaxed and approachable.\" But without it, my face says something more useful to me at this precise moment of my life. It says, \"You might want to rethink that plan, revise that statement, or retract that eye roll, little man.\" It says,\"Do I look like I'm kidding? Did you mistake me for someone relaxed and approachable? 'Cause I'm not her. I ate her for lunch. And I'm still hungry, so watch yourself.\"
Newspaper Article
She's a Bad Mammograma
My friends refer to mammograms as \"the boob mash\" and \"getting squished.\" The annual exam falls into that category of medical must-dos - along with Pap smears and dental cleanings - that we work hard to avoid thinking about Before, after, and even during the dreaded appointment, we simply banish all thoughts of it from our minds - a disciplined-if-desperate meditation on anything at all but the bootie-wearing stranger unceremoniously kneading our chesticles. I'm told I can wear a medical gown, if I choose. But why? To cover my back? Besides, I don't want to seem a self-conscious coward I'm aiming for a distinct air of \"I'm so at ease with all this institutional nudity I might even take my pants off, too, so just ... just look out, ladyT The technician's job is to prod and mush each of your breasts (I have just the two, so I'm lucky) flat between two clear plastic plates, cranking the vice slowly closed like a Play-Doh Fun Factory extruder, while muttering absurd phrases like \"Is that okay?\" and \"Doing alright?\" When she tells me to lift my arm like a Roman statue and hold my breath, I decide that she hates me and wants me to die.
Newspaper Article
Sshhh! Don't Say 'Vagina'
Vaginas are well worth discussing, and certainly defending, in the hallowed halls of government. The bill in question was described by Planned Parenthood's Michigan branch as \"the biggest assault on women's health in our state's history.\" And [Lisa Brown]'s speech had some brilliant moments. Whipping out \"my vagina\" wasn't one of them. \"I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my vagina\" isn't inspired rhetoric; it's a naughty party trick guaranteed to get a rise out of your audience. I ought to know, as I've now dropped it twice into this column. On a more poetic level, though, I don't much care for the string of letters describing the girly bits. Did you ever meet someone whose name doesn't suit them at all? Like, \"I'm sorry, but you are the least Norman person I've ever met\" Well, my vagina is the least Norman person I've ever met.
Newspaper Article
'Coregasm' Makes Gym More Fun
The media is calling these episodes \"coregasms\" because they're most often brought on by abdominal exercises- especially multiple sets of rigorous crunches. But let's call them \"gymnasms\" because it's crazy fun to say; try it It seems too good to be true. If controversial sex researcher Alfred Kinsey hadn't alluded to exercise-induced orgasm in his famous 1953 report (and if a friend of mine hadn't recently confessed to feeling the telltale titillating tingling after dismounting from a stationary bike), I'd swear the whole thing was a scam dreamed up by a greedy consortium of gym owners. If it's true, though - if the very activity so many of us loathe can lead to the very sensation so many of us crave - then I can't help fantasizing a little. Since when are we rewarded so blessedly, so YES! YES! YES!edly, for doing unpleasant chores that are good for us? It's like finding out that some women get rich just by scrubbing their shower grout or drop five pounds every time they go to the dentist.
Newspaper Article
I'm Gluten-Free-Vegan-Intolerant
The line between \"conscientious\" and \"pain-in-the-ass persnickety\" is invisible to the naked eye. You say, \"I avoid foods with a high glycemic index.\" We hear, \"I only eat miso and millet, tempeh and tofu, quinoa and kale. And only when it's organic and seasonal On Tuesdays. When the tide is low. And the Redskins are ahead.\" I'm actually anxious about offering treats to friends anymore; there are only two good reasons to refuse the homemade chocolate-chip cookie I just offered you: \"I just brushed my teeth and am hoping to make out with that hot guy over there\" or \"I had nine of those for lunch, so I'm set.\" Anything else feels like holier-than-thou judgment and hurts my probably oversensitive feelings. Long as I'm juvenile, though, I'll share a fun party trick that gets me through the my-friends-are-food-fickle blues: Set out a simple snack plate at your next soirée. Watch your guests slowly back away from it as if it were a deadly trap, and imagine them saying, \"Not this time, Lex Luthor! You thought I'd fall for your diabolical cheese-and-cracker scheme? Ha! My irritable bowels will never quake at the likes of you!\" Yeah . . . good times, good times.
Newspaper Article