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"Snicket, Lemony, author"
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Read something else : collected & dubious wit & wisdom of Lemony Snicket
Collects an array of disheartening truths and unhappy observations drawn from the author's work.
BOOK
The Kitchen Sink-And Everything Else
'I HAVE READ that you can ripen a persimmon by wrapping it in foil and leaving it in the freezer overnight,\" Cheryl Mendelson writes, \"but I haven't tried this.\" Well, why hasn't she? Mendelson is the author of \"Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House,\" a new book on the domestic arts, which is astonishing in its scope and, puzzlingly, its complete lack of authority. The author is an attorney, philosophy professor and homemaker, a combination that one might think would make an intriguing book. She herself states that \"Home Comforts\" is about \"how a home works, not how it looks,\" promising a refreshing change from the glut of Martha Stewart and her lacy ilk. But Mendelson doesn't make good on her promise. She apparently has time on her hands to clean food debris out of her can opener using a clean toothbrush, but not to explain why one would want to do this, or to find out, say, if you can in fact ripen a persimmon by wrapping it in foil and leaving it in the \"Home Comforts\" takes a middle ground, comparable to Irma Rombauer's \"Joy of Cooking\" or John Berryman's \"Dream Songs,\" in which the author's tone gives us all the subtext we need. This is a disappointing choice from Mendelson, because domesticity is rooted in murky, primal forces that readers would appreciate having brought to light. All of us keep house, to some extent, but why, or even how, remains an impenetrable mystery. We might scrub every pot but leave dirty socks in a pile. We might painstakingly alphabetize books but leave the umbrella in the entryway where it has been drip-drying for nine days. We will justify our lapses with the excuses of busy lives, feminist pride or the fact that it might in fact rain tomorrow, but we can sense our own disorder, behind closet doors and deep within the crisper. We can sweep it under the rug, but we don't know why, or even, by the end of the paragraph, exactly what \"it\" is.
Newspaper Article
The bad beginning
\"After the sudden death of their parents, the three Baudelaire children must depend on each other and their wits when it turns out that the distant relative who is appointed their guardian is determined to use any means necessary to get their fortune. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. Imagine tales so terrible that as many as fifty million innocents have been ruined by them-tales so indelibly horrid that the New York Times bestseller list has been unable to rid itself of them for seven years. Now imagine if this scourge suddenly became available in a shameful new edition so sensational, so irresistible, so riddled with lurid new pictures that even a common urchin would wish for it. Who among us would be safe?\"-- Provided by publisher.
Book
TALKING WITH JUDITH MARTIN Oh, Behave
'CLUCKING is a lost art,\" Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, says in her latest book. \"Remind Miss Manners to demonstrate it for you sometime.\" Since Newsday readers may never get the chance, this reporter took it upon himself to incite this disapproving sound by banging his soup spoon on his plate in a rude and irritating manner. Martin wiped the corner of her mouth with a plaid handkerchief she keeps tucked in her sleeve and then began to cluck. It was a quiet sound, but like other unlovely noises decried by the author - malfunctioning car alarms, say, or the click of call-waiting - it was more than capable of making one's blood run cold. This reporter stopped that nonsense with the spoon right away.
Newspaper Article
The hostile hospital
On the run after being falsely accused of murder, the three Baudelaire orphans find themselves in the Heimlich Hospital, with the evil Count Olaf in close pursuit.
Book
\Shouldn't you be in school?\
Young Lemony Snicket investigates a rash of fires that have plagued the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, revealing secrets that involve the Department of Education and the notorious villain Hangfire.
BOOK
The wide window
Catastrophes and misfortune continue to plague the Baudelaire orphans after being sent to live with fearful Aunt Josephine, who offers little protection against Count Olaf's treachery.
Book
The bad mood and the stick
Curly's bad mood travels from person to person, unexpectedly leaving opportunities for forgiveness, laughter, and love in its wake.
Book