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"Zeitner, Richard M"
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Self within marriage : the foundation for lasting relationships
\"Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory to illustrate and discuss a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the very common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy in romantic relationships. Based on detailed case examples and couples therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and analytic therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners\"-- Provided by publisher.
Book
Self within Marriage
Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory as a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy. Based on detailed case examples and couple therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and couple therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners.
eBook
The selfdyad in the dynamic organisation of the couple
The selfdyad, provides a construct that integrates existing psychoanalytic ideas, especially those from an object relations perspective with those from a self psychological perspective. With the increase in the demand for couple treatment and couple therapy training throughout the United States and Great Britain, there has also been a corresponding increase in the variety of psychotherapeutic strategies deriving from the literature pertaining to couple and family treatments. The supportive therapy may have been sustaining and helpful, but for the individual patient only, while leaving the intricate dynamic organisation of the couple relationship relatively untouched and unmodified, while at high risk for further deterioration, especially when the individual therapy comes to an end. Sexual disjunctions, the chronic disagreement on the frequency or preferred sexual activities can appear with such salience for the couple that one or both partners can experience an erosion of the self, and even a collapse of the self.
Book Chapter
When the Self Fails to Flourish
Having laid the foundation for how the couple relationship develops and how both partners enter into this contract with a desire for transformation and a need for self-definition, we will now address the various ways in which these goals might fail to be realized. In previous chapters we described the social, psychological, and biological variables that are involved as couples enter into a relationship of permanence. In doing so, the couple establishes its unique interplay or dance as each self is inevitably modified through the ongoing cycles of projective identification. As the couple's roles are more clearly established, the selfdyad is formed and continues to function through conscious and unconscious communication while sustaining and supporting the selves of both partners. Whether the selfdyad supports and transforms each partner to a different and fulfilling level of selfhood will determine the success or failure of the relationship.
Book Chapter
Introspection and Its Enemies
Each of the various schools of psychotherapy emphasizes different phenomena and seemingly divergent criteria for patient improvement. A common ingredient shared by all modalities, however, is some variation of self-awareness as a route for achieving emotional growth. The therapist's guided inquiry into the patient's difficulties initiates an emerging verbal-cognitive-affective process through which an increasing awareness of the self begins to take form as the patient puts into words experiences that have possibly never previously been formulated or verbalized.
Book Chapter
Functions of Sexuality in the Adult Partnership
For both children and adults, the topic of sexuality is undeniably one of universal fascination. Even when that interest is repudiated by the vicissitudes of defenses, sexuality continues to exert a profound influence on the person and his or her relationships- sometimes because of the very denial or repression that attempts to remove it. Although young children are without the cognitive maturity to embrace its significance fully, we can witness the shadow of sexuality in their behavior and in their conversations with peers and siblings. When the child enters school, we are able to observe changes in what interests him and even what he speaks about as he becomes exposed to the fascinating social world existing outside the family, including the unconscious sexuality of each and every person that he will now encounter. Beginning in infancy and then evolving and maturing through childhood into old age, sexuality will continue to exert its impact. Even as it changes in the strength of its drive with the passage of years or when interrupted during times that preclude its more usual aim, channel, or capacity for discharge, its visage is always present as it continues to exert its ineluctable influence on human motivation.
Book Chapter
The Incomplete Self
The behavioral sciences have traditionally taught us that the mind and the self are closed systems. The central thesis here is that every human is born with genetic material to parents by whom the child will be influenced for approximately 20 years, give or take a few, after which will emerge the finished product-the adult. This traditional paradigm has posited that the young adult now has a mind of his own, for better or worse; is essentially complete; and will not significantly change unless intensive psychological treatment ensues or he experiences a major life or catastrophic event to affect his being.
Book Chapter
The Centrality of the Selfdyad in the Dynamic Organization of the Couple
A psychobiological foundation for the partnership is established when friendship, romantic attraction, sexuality, and attachment converge in an optimal way. I have described the unconscious processes involved as the two partners become acquainted with each other-processes in which there is a continuous appraisal of fit and complementarity as they establish a medium through which aspects of personality are both projected and introjected. These aspects of character include traits, needs, wishes, relationship scripts, conflicts, traumas, and other features of self-organization. Through these encounters, an individual determines the extent to which the other partner complements the self, providing the potential for further self-development. Through ongoing interactions that include conscious relating as well as unconscious communication through projective identification, the exchange of mental contents continues throughout the courtship as well as the life of the partnership.
Book Chapter
Context, Relationship Maintenance, and Repair
In previous chapters we explored the psychological, biological, and social factors involved in the process of partner selection and the formation of the couple. We addressed how finding the partner is based on both the need for attachment and an unconscious yearning for transformation, while the relationship is developed and maintained through a continuous process of unconscious communication. We have emphasized the importance of internal object relations and how these relationship scripts become congealed into the selfdyad-a conjointly constructed system operating synergistically as a function of two selves that are in communication with each other both consciously and unconsciously. And, finally, we have discussed how relationship satisfaction depends on whether the selfdyad functions to support and enhance the selves of the partners.
Book Chapter
That Vital Balance
Martin, a 45-year-old corporate CEO, and his wife, Janet, a 42-year-old fifth-grade teacher, called for a consultation because of some recurrent strife that centered on Janet's recent career advancement. They had been married for 15 years and had been reasonably content in most aspects of their relationship. They had two children and had worked out a mutually acceptable balance between two careers while raising their busy and active children. In her spare time after getting home from school, Janet had recently authored some children's books, which over this past year had been published and had been receiving literary accolades.
Book Chapter