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"Zeitner, Richard M"
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Self within marriage : the foundation for lasting relationships
\"Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory to illustrate and discuss a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the very common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy in romantic relationships. Based on detailed case examples and couples therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and analytic therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners\"-- Provided by publisher.
Book
Self within Marriage
Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory as a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy. Based on detailed case examples and couple therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and couple therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners.
eBook
The selfdyad in the dynamic organisation of the couple
The selfdyad, provides a construct that integrates existing psychoanalytic ideas, especially those from an object relations perspective with those from a self psychological perspective. With the increase in the demand for couple treatment and couple therapy training throughout the United States and Great Britain, there has also been a corresponding increase in the variety of psychotherapeutic strategies deriving from the literature pertaining to couple and family treatments. The supportive therapy may have been sustaining and helpful, but for the individual patient only, while leaving the intricate dynamic organisation of the couple relationship relatively untouched and unmodified, while at high risk for further deterioration, especially when the individual therapy comes to an end. Sexual disjunctions, the chronic disagreement on the frequency or preferred sexual activities can appear with such salience for the couple that one or both partners can experience an erosion of the self, and even a collapse of the self.
Book Chapter
Considerations for Treatment
This chapter will address central features of the diagnostic and psychotherapeutic process with couples, drawing on those ideas most relevant to the selfdyad and the thesis of this book. Throughout this writing I have emphasized the importance of the couple's shared space. I have called this construction the selfdyad, an extension of Henry Dicks's joint marital personality, but adding an important feature. By observing and treating troubled marriages, Dicks concluded that through projective identification, or what some have called the interpsychic transmission of mental contents, two individuals forming an intimate and permanent partnership will create a conjoint structure that is different from the two personalities forming it (Dicks, 1993). Through the transmission of these mental states, which include conscious and unconscious needs, wishes, fears, and defenses, parts of the self are projected onto the partner.
Book Chapter
When the Self Fails to Flourish
Having laid the foundation for how the couple relationship develops and how both partners enter into this contract with a desire for transformation and a need for self-definition, we will now address the various ways in which these goals might fail to be realized. In previous chapters we described the social, psychological, and biological variables that are involved as couples enter into a relationship of permanence. In doing so, the couple establishes its unique interplay or dance as each self is inevitably modified through the ongoing cycles of projective identification. As the couple's roles are more clearly established, the selfdyad is formed and continues to function through conscious and unconscious communication while sustaining and supporting the selves of both partners. Whether the selfdyad supports and transforms each partner to a different and fulfilling level of selfhood will determine the success or failure of the relationship.
Book Chapter
You Complete Me
Having established that partner formation is a process in which a needed or repressed part of the self is found in the other, we will now address why we humans strive for this connection in the first place. This brings us to a discussion of attachment phenomena and their implications for adult partner formation. Jerry Maguire (Crowe, 1996), a romantic comedy of the 1990s, illustrates many of the principles of partner formation and attachment that will be addressed in this chapter. The film features a man who recently has fallen on hard times while working for a sports agency. The plot highlights the emerging romance between Jerry and Dorothy, which we are led to understand launches a revision of Jerry's character, enhancing his capacity to love others while enriching his personal and professional life.
Book Chapter
The Incomplete Self
The behavioral sciences have traditionally taught us that the mind and the self are closed systems. The central thesis here is that every human is born with genetic material to parents by whom the child will be influenced for approximately 20 years, give or take a few, after which will emerge the finished product-the adult. This traditional paradigm has posited that the young adult now has a mind of his own, for better or worse; is essentially complete; and will not significantly change unless intensive psychological treatment ensues or he experiences a major life or catastrophic event to affect his being.
Book Chapter
That Vital Balance
Martin, a 45-year-old corporate CEO, and his wife, Janet, a 42-year-old fifth-grade teacher, called for a consultation because of some recurrent strife that centered on Janet's recent career advancement. They had been married for 15 years and had been reasonably content in most aspects of their relationship. They had two children and had worked out a mutually acceptable balance between two careers while raising their busy and active children. In her spare time after getting home from school, Janet had recently authored some children's books, which over this past year had been published and had been receiving literary accolades.
Book Chapter
Marriage and Other Loving Partnerships
The institution of marriage has existed throughout history. Depending upon the person or the discipline describing it, however, the definition and parameters vary considerably. The 10th edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (1993) defines marriage as \"the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.\" Although at first blush Mr. Webster's definition appears to be quite comprehensive, our contemporary world might now view it as outmoded, unenlightened, or even homophobic. While the disciplines of sociology, law, theology, and psychology define and describe their unique parameters of marriage, there also exist more nuanced versions, depending upon personal ideologies and one's unique developmental history. All these variables affect one's definition of and attitudes about traditional marriage, gay marriage, and other alternative forms of civil union as ways to provide equivalent social and legal advantages for those who are permanently partnered.
Book Chapter
Functions of Sexuality in the Adult Partnership
For both children and adults, the topic of sexuality is undeniably one of universal fascination. Even when that interest is repudiated by the vicissitudes of defenses, sexuality continues to exert a profound influence on the person and his or her relationships- sometimes because of the very denial or repression that attempts to remove it. Although young children are without the cognitive maturity to embrace its significance fully, we can witness the shadow of sexuality in their behavior and in their conversations with peers and siblings. When the child enters school, we are able to observe changes in what interests him and even what he speaks about as he becomes exposed to the fascinating social world existing outside the family, including the unconscious sexuality of each and every person that he will now encounter. Beginning in infancy and then evolving and maturing through childhood into old age, sexuality will continue to exert its impact. Even as it changes in the strength of its drive with the passage of years or when interrupted during times that preclude its more usual aim, channel, or capacity for discharge, its visage is always present as it continues to exert its ineluctable influence on human motivation.
Book Chapter